I have the tremors RIGHT NOW.. it has been the worst 15 months of my life, since first going through all my ailments in 2008 and I did not get diagnose until 2010, at the time they called it Conversion Disorder, AKA FMD or FND.
I have a long list of symptoms. not sure which one is worse than the other, all I know is that, I don’t want to live like this anymore.
I am sick of the chronic Fatique, tremors, NES ON AND OFF. I have trouble walking, talking, eating,(not all the time) dealt with pain on and off.. My ANA is high. I get winded very easily.
I can’t even care for myself as it takes every effort and what very very little energy I do have, most times I have to push myself, the cleaning, cooking, driving, going out has all stopped as of February last year. I will never forget that day as long as I live. Its like I left my body and something horrible has taken over.. but yet I can’t rememeber where I place something.
I get upset easily, I lash out easily. I have cried many many times. more than what I tell others, because that’s my private time. I am sick of the remarks from family members and some so called friends, because I have lost so much weight, now I can’t even keep the weight on. I am at 104 lbs. my lowest being 100 lbs, not long ago. I am underweight, At 5’3″ I should weight at least 115-120 lbs.
I have questions and I am overwhelmed with some upcoming events.
I am scared, sad. I feel alone in a crowded room, I hate crowds, It makes me feel claustraphobic, I have had A NES after being in a very cramped home after a funeral service. My friends around here have totally shunned me, that hurts really bad.
My husband has been my caregiver, He has done so much for me, but at the same time, he doesnt know what to do or say at times.
I don’t have any answers for him either. I live in Philadelphia,Pa.. I have only met 2 doctors that either know something about this illness, or has heard of it, that’s it… No big surprise there.
That’s it for now. Thank you.