Connectivity Is Power

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(The above is a picture of Neurons connecting to other Neurons)

    I have set up some forums for anyone that is interested in wanting to post questions, or chat. Also one for if anyone has information, or diagrams they feel they would like to share, that may be of use to others with our little known about disorder.

    The quote below is one I posted on my blog a long time ago, but seems very fitting now 🙂

    Connectivity is power,
    Power is electric,
    Electricity is vital,
    Vitally is exciting,
    Excitement makes people talk and connect,
    Connectivity is power,
    Power is electric…..

    Copyright © 2013 Dystonia And Functional Movement Disorder Sufferer Quote – Trying to raise awareness of Movement Disorders

The Autonomic Nervous System

We are not aware of the vast amounts of nervous system activity that occur below the brain’s level of consciousness.
Such activity is mainly the province of the ANS (along with the enteric division, which controls most of the abdominal organs, chiefly the stomach and intestines).

We can think of the ANS (Autonomic Nervous System) as our “automatic pilot”. It monitors internal conditions such as temperature and the levels of chemical substances and keeps these within narrow limits; it also controls processes we rarely think about such as heart rate, breathing, digestion,and excretion, by stimulating muscles to contract and glands to release their products.

There are two divisions – the sympathetic and the parasympathetic – of the ANS, the complementary actions if which are shown below.

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Here is a very interesting piece to note:

Out Of Our Control
When overwhelming emotions such as sudden grief sweep through the body, this is mainly the result of ANS activity.
It takes time and mental effort for the brain to reassert conscious control.

The information above is sourced from Dr Alice Roberts “The Complete Human Body”

I Am Broken

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This is a blog post I just added at: www.dystoniasufferer.com
I don’t blog as often now, it’s just going back over old ground. I only blog now, when I really feel what I write is worth sharing.
I hope my words may resonate with others, and make you feel less alone. Andrea x
…………………………….

As I lay with my arms outstretched, crouched at the side of the bed.

My head down and tears fully flowing, with me sobbing and not knowing how to stop.

I am a broken woman!

I still have flashbacks, I still relive moments from my past.

I want my girls to hold and hug close, and never let them go. He hurt us too much, way too much.

Shock, pain, hurtful late night calls. Constant notes through the door, hounding me to meet up. After what he did!? 

The suicide threats he made, and in front of our girls!!!! Him asking to be past a knife to slit his wrists.

My daughters turmoils, the total and utter disruption to their lives. 

The total break of my marriage of 21 years. 

The following mess and trying to hold on and keep going. All that followed, the house, a roof over our heads. Trying to put food in our stomachs, how I deprived myself to feed my daughter, 

Holding on to a job where I was being harrassed by my boss, all whilst going through my troubled home life.

The divorce proceedings I set in place, and stood my ground. Getting some self esteem back, finding me again. 

FMD and PTSD are really, one and the same. I go through similar things.

Times like this I can’t stop crying, I just want out.

But my saving grace, a wonderful man I met who whirled me off my feet. Gave be confidence and showed me how to love again, made me a person who could feel again after I had shut down.

Only I’m not a full person anymore, I’m missing  bits. I’m broken, my brain has memory problems mostly short term. 

But there are things that happened during my marriage break up, that I have no memory of.

Things that have happened whilst with my new partner, I have no memory of.

It’s the scariest thing, not knowing part of your life but others do.

It’s the scariest thing, having flash backs suddenly out of the blue. That interrupt and distort your day, change your feelings. Make you go so low, it’s a struggle to keep getting back up.

It’s the scariest thing, having your body suddenly turn against you. Start breaking down, not moving properly. Not moving how you ask it, or moving without you asking!

It’s the scariest thing, living in my world. Every day, for the rest of my life!

I am hurt, still. 

I am broken, always.

I don’t really know who I am anymore

I just had to blurt this and get it out. 

Real life is hard, nothing is all roses. Not in my world.  

But I love all my family dearly, my girls especially. They make me a proud Mum, they have moved on and are now living their lives.

My elder sister I have to thank for looking after me so well in the first weeks, with no thought to disrupting her own life and work. She stepped out and caught me as I fell, whilst cradling my girls too. Thank you sis with all my heart xxx

Me I still struggle, and probably always will. Becoming physically and I guess mentally disabled, from something that happened in your life, to change the way your brain works. Well, it’s still very hard to grasp. 

So yes, I have my break down days. Today just happens to be one of them, and I felt I needed to set it free.

Maybe now I can move on?

You only have to look at the tags to see all the problems, and disorders I live with. So only time will tell.

Thanks for reading as always, and take care X.

Functional Movement Disorder needs so much more awareness!

This morning I woke with a fully numb left arm, painful calf muscles, pain in the top front of my forehead, and a very heavy head which comes from the middle left side of my head which sometimes feels like it is being pulled downwards toward and through my neck down my back!

It all makes me so very tired, my body is constantly fighting itself and the tiredness is the body trying to repair itself and regenerate.

Does anyone else have the problems with their head like me?
My Drs still don’t know what it is, but think it relates to my seizures?

Last week I had a sleep study where I was filmed and all wired up, with six wires on my head, three on my forehead, two each side of my face, one on my chin, then a wire down my leg.
Lastly I had a strap put around my chest, this was to get readings of my chest rate and breathing.

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My sleep study is primarily to check for Sleep Apnoea, but also to check electrical impulses in my head and spasms in my body.

There are other things too, but I’m waiting to hear from the Consultants as I don’t want to get my hopes up.

This disorder certainly is draining, and you never know from one day to the next what your body is going to throw at you. Functional movement disorder is a neurological disorder, has so many symptoms, and I have a lot of them.

Though I am still fighting to make sure I do not also have an organic part to my movements, that I don’t only have a psychological disorder. As I’ve had spasms for so many years, years before what is thought to have been the psychological reason to my illness.
I will still continue to research this very weird disorder, a disorder that is very similar to PTSD.

Functional Movement Disorder needs so much more awareness!

I Wish I Was Invisable


Sometimes I write poetry, to get my hurt and feelings out. 

The painting is also one of my own, as when I got Functional Movement Disorder I found all my artistic side 😊

So I decided to share one of my poems with others who understand.

Just click the link x

https://youtu.be/CZlBY8-UOKYhttps://youtu.be/CZlBY8-UOKY

I hope you liked it 😊

Personal Independence Payment (PIP)

Information for all disabled people who claim benefits, and the new upcoming change to our DLA and Mobility benefits system payments with effect from 8th April 2013.

When will it effect you?

Claiming PIP
https://www.gov.uk/pip-checker
This is the link to check on when you may be effected by the new Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and when you can expect to have to reclaim for this instead of the old Disability Living Allowance (DLA) which is all changing this April 2013.

Here is the information given on the Government Website of what the rates are to be –
https://www.gov.uk/pip/what-youll-get

What you’ll get
Personal Independence Payment (PIP) is paid every 4 weeks. It’s tax free and can be paid if you’re in or out of work.

It is made up of 2 components (parts). Whether you get 1 or both of these depends on how your condition affects you.

Daily living component
Daily living component Weekly rate
Standard £53.00
Enhanced £79.15

Mobility component
Mobility component Weekly rate
Standard £21.00
Enhanced £55.25

Our Awareness Week Starts This Week! 😀


Let’s raise awareness through talking, and engaging with others. Show family, friends, groups, information or links about what Functional Movement Disorder symptoms are.
Let’s try to grow awareness of what we go through, of what we suffer.

1 in 3 people who are seen by Neurologists, are diagnosed with some form of Functional Disorder! That’s a lot of people, yet we are still swept under the carpet because they are not sure how to make us better.

As there are different forms of Functional Disorder, they all need treating on an individual basis.

So while we are trying our best to make ourselves better, let’s try to get more of the medical profession to understand our problems.

Awareness is what it’s all about!

How The Brain Works

This is a great image, to show how our brain works for the different sections of our bodies.

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My Story

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I haven’t been at work since Monday 30th of January this year 2012.

I had a sudden onset of head spasms, and other body spasms. I have gone downhill fast over the year.

January my head spasms started.

February my neck kept twisting and jerking sideways.

March my legs started to go weak and wouldn’t hold my body up.

I had all sorts of problems, I have been in A&E, and in Acute Assessment Unit where they diagnosed me with Chronic Cervical Dystonia, Involuntary Movements, Vertigo and Tinnitus!

I started with Non-Epileptic Attacks at the start of April.

By the end of April I started having Non-Epileptic Seizures. They pull my face, I look like I’ve had a stroke, I cannot talk straight away after, and these can make me paralysed in all my limbs for hours at a time.

I am now registered disabled, and have to use walking sticks to even get around the house. Outside I use my three wheeled walker or crutches, I look and feel like an old woman. I also have a wheelchair for when I go paralysed for my partner to put me in.

I was diagnosed on 17th May with Functional Movement Disorder, and have recently been told I will now have it for life.

My diagnosis had been wrong! That in the Acute Assessment Unit the Doctor had diagnosed me wrongly, it was all my body starting to Mis-Function. All part and parcel of it, so many different symptoms, but only one Disorder!

Work has eventually terminated my employment as of 20th December this month, so I will be officially unemployed.

I can no longer work, as my movements and attacks or seizures can happen any time and erratically. I live in daily pain, many days I cry out even in the street. I cannot hide my pain anymore. It is hard never knowing what the day has in store for me, I just have to keep going. It’s all anyone can do.

This is the short version of my story, I wouldn’t want to bore you with the rest. As the rest started years before, and is a long story to tell.

Some if my story has started to come out in my Psychology Sessions, good or bad?

Too many equations to go into, too hard to work out and give any easy answers.

It is believed my brain has broken from the past stresses and upsets I been unfortunate enough to have happen to me. There are no written reasons for this Disorder, no one course of treatment to follow.

Every person that is unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with Functional Movement Disorder, has their own personal reason behind the whys. Also the treatment has to be tailored to the individual, to fit with their individual problems.

Hopefully on this journey of finding out, and trying to learn to adjust and live with this Disorder, I may be able to give insight or offer some small help to others with the same or similar problems. Hopefully others may even help me, I live in hope for us all.

Please enjoy my site.

New Stories Added!

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Please check out all the new stories added, of some more extremely brave people who have chosen to share their stories in the aid to help raise more awareness of our disorder.

I would like to personally thank, each and every person who has and is, sharing their stories.

THANK YOU! 😀

Andrea X

Welcome

Welcome to my site, I am a “Functional Movement Disorder” Sufferer.

I decided to set up this site to share any information and knowledge I have found, about this “very little known about” disorder.

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SITE IS ALL MY OWN THOUGHTS AND INFORMATION I HAVE FOUND, PUT TOGETHER TO HELP OTHERS IN THEIR SEARCH FOR ANSWERS THE SAME AS MYSELF.

This site will grow slowly, as I gather together all the information I have already found. Along with the new information I find in my continued research, which I will put on in time.
___________________________________________________

Through researching for information on this disorder for myself, I found there to be very little out there to find.
I looked on the worldwide web, where there is information about what the movement conditions for this disorder are. Only I found nothing about the diagnosis process, or the following process of treatment and what is involved. What we as patients can expect to go through, and the walls that we constantly come up against.

The piles of forms and paperwork that we have to fill in, if we need to make claims from insurance companies, for DLA, for ESA, right through to applying for Blue Badges for disability parking, or concessionary passes etc.

The appointments we have to go through, and the sucession of follow up appointments. The different Doctors and Consultants we are required to see, and the tests we have to go through. Firstly to get to a diagnosis, then the following assessments for any claims we make. The refusals that you may have, and the following continued push to prove that your claim is your right. The ongoing battle against both your body fighting itself, and the battle to keep going through all the closed doors.
The total and utter resignation you may feel many a time, and the ongoing tiredness and fatigue.

I also trawled to a lot of bookshops, only to find that even the largest bookstores did not have any books on this condition. I even went to a main University bookstore, but to no avail.
I was also very surprised to find that it is not listed on the lists of Neurological Disorders on the Movement Disorder sites that I did find.

Interestingly, there seems to be a selection of names for the same disorder:

* Functional Movement Disorder
* Functional Neurological Disorder
* Functional Dissociative Disorder
* Dissociative Disorder
* Conversion Disorder
* Functional Neurological Dissociative Disorder
* Functional Neurological Movement Disorder
* Psychogenic Movement Disorder
* Functional (Psychogenic) Movement Disorder

All of the above diagnosis’ are in fact the same disorder, which can lead to confusion when left to look for information about the condition you have just been diagnosed with.

I hope that with shared knowledge, we can get this disorder more well-known about and so making the struggle for sufferers less, along with helping their families and carers to gain an understanding too.

Please feel free to get involved. You can comment, or you can contact me by email using the contact form.
Thank you.

My Story

I haven’t been at work since Monday 30th of January this year 2012. I had a sudden onset of head spasms, and other body spasms. I have gone downhill fast over the year. January my head spasms started. February my neck kept twisting and jerking sideways. March my legs started to go weak and wouldn’t …

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An Update On Me ;)

I can’t walk anymore without walking sticks, crutches, my wheeled walker or I also now have a mobility scooter. I have funny jerky movements, and can seem to have a tremor at times. My left leg jumps a lot, due to pulling in my abdomen, my hip or the calf muscle all spasming. My neck, …

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4 comments

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  1. Andrea

    Hi Julia yes it was the same one I was pointed to by my Neurology Consultant as well. It has a wealth of information all about the different symptoms and that come with this disorder.
    I have linked to it on the “Helpful Links” page 🙂
    Unfortunately what I find it doesn’t do is go further, to give the understanding. To fill out the picture and consequences this disorder brings with it. I wanted more, to know the why and how. To find reasons, and information more than just on a medical level from one Dr who has an interest in the disorder. In fact, I was and still am dumbfounded that so few Drs have an interest in the disorder or know so little about it.
    My website is the journey from a patients view point, the diagnosis and time, years it can take. Through to the eventual start of treatment, the forms of treatment, and hopefully the outcomes that patients can look to in the future.
    I have been rather ill lately so I know my site is limited, but as many sites they take time to build and I hope it will get there eventually. With more information of the treatment and psychological journey, along with other interesting information I find that I feel may be of interest to share.
    I hope you find the site of some use to yourself also.
    Thank you for your comment 🙂

  2. Julia

    Hey, have you had a look at neurosymptoms.org? It’s a website by a movement consultant neurologist and I found that very useful. My neurologist pointed me in the direction of it when he diagnosed me x

  3. Andrea

    Hi Nicola, I am so glad my site is helping you. Although I do need to just say, that I am like you a sufferer. Everything I put on this site is from my research and personal experience, I am not a medical person.
    I set this site up because there is little information for us to find, and I wanted to explain our disorder in as easy a way as I can. Without all the medical terms that can be hard to understand, and I want to help others like me.
    We as patients with this disorder, start to become specialists in it by going through it and all the information we find along our journey. We end up knowing more than our local doctors, but we are not doctors just sufferers that begin to know all about our disorder.
    I hope your appointment goes well, and that your day is a good one.
    Thanks for your lovely comment 😀

  4. Nicola

    Fab site Andrea! You site is so good I’m taking a print out to my Gp this week of all the symptoms. He’s very understanding but he’s learning about Fnd like I am. I look forward to hearing of any updates you have & I will definitely let you know if any treatment I have seems to help & of news I may find through my investigations into this mad, mad condition! 🙂 xx

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I Wish I Was Invisable

Sometimes I write poetry, to get my hurt and feelings out.  The painting is also one of my own, as when I got Functional Movement Disorder I found all my artistic side 😊 So I decided to share one of my poems with others who understand. Just click the link x https://youtu.be/CZlBY8-UOKYhttps://youtu.be/CZlBY8-UOKY I hope you …

Read more

Aww I Hurt

Image from Google pictures. I’ve been busy all week, trying to write about my weekend away in London over the Bank Holiday weekend at the end of May. I will get it finished eventually, or maybe break it down into parts to get it posted. As it is all about mobility issues I had, that …

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